Disappointment

I think i haven't really recovered from the state of disappointment.

I lost my game on the thurs night. Something which bothered me until now, 19-21 and 20-22.

I can certainly accept it if the level between my pair and the opponent is too great. However, the fact is that we are equal in terms of strength and technique and i lost to my own self. I was upset that i was already mentally tired b4 the game, i guess IA had taken a toll on my mental strength that day. They knew i was tired and rained all the attacks on me. For most of the game, i was panting and chasing after all the shots.

I was playing in front of supporters from hall 8 and hall 2 and the size of the crowd was easily 100. I wanted a simple game and i would love playing in big games like this. Play simple and win it big, then create history like we did it last year. Unfortunately its not the case.

My good friends came up to me and asked wad was i thinking throughout the game.

Since most of the time, we were trailing and they were attacking me. I told myself, come bring it on and i shall win. However, its was at those those crucial moments that i cracked in my mental aspect of the game. 19-19 and we made 2 more mistakes to lose the first set. For the second set, we were trailing even more, but catching up from 3 points down to 19-20. I was the server, one down the net and i can kiss IH goodbye. The supporters esp the girls were freaking me out when they put their fingers into their mouths. Fortunately it gone well over and we gotten back to 20-20. Then again, i cracked at the most crucial moment, serving that into the net and made the next mistake. We lost 20-22!

To lose the game to nobody but ur own self is something that it will even take the next few days for me to get over. Maybe I shouldn't set too high expectations of myself which caused me to tremble and served one into the net. Maybe i should juz reflect upon why i cant remove that fear at the most crucial instant in the game. Maybe i should juz put the blame to IA. Maybe i m juz not good enough..